Love and Loss.

It happens out of nowhere sometimes. I'll be in the middle of making dinner and I think of her. A walk in the park, a song, a tv commercial or just the way the wind blows; something, at least once a day, reminds me of her.

Most times I'm ok. But other times, it hits me like a bus. Funny thing, memories. It's been three years and they still know how to creep up on me, ones that I've likely forgotten about or haven't thought about in years.

Sometimes they make me laugh or help me to find a little peace in my day. An odd time it fills me with grief and I relive those last moments as vividly as if it were happening right now.

Having someone taken from you is...hard. Watching it unfold right in front of your eyes, knowing any day you might have to let them go...much harder. It can make you stronger but there's no doubting the fact that death robs you like a cowardly thief in the night. And you can never quite fill that space. There's always a hole, an emptiness you can always feel.

It is slowly getting easier; living without her. Time heals? Not really. But it's a matter of learning how to deal better, and that comes in time.  I have figured out what works best for me, what helps me get through the day without wallowing in self pity. I don't take it out on anyone. I don't expect anything from anyone except a little patience, respect and understanding.

It's a process. It's different for us all. The fact is, an entire family can grieve the loss of one person and not one of them can know exactly how the other is feeling. It's an experience that is so personal it can't even be rationalized or put into words.

A great loss is something you couldn't possibly understand until you've experienced it firsthand. When you, yourself, have loved and lost and mourned. However it seems, for some, to be very easy to form an opinion about something they know nothing about. So before you become one of those people and crush someone you love that is grieving, I'd like to tell you this one thing.

There is no proper way to grieve, no proper time frame, no correct way to deal with how you feel. Most of us don't choose to cry or choose to be sad, if anything we would choose quite the opposite. The most we can hope for is to overcome the sadness, to no longer feel that loss, to fill that emptiness inside. To have someone by our side who will love us and be there for us, no matter what.

But in the end, it is what it is.

Life is filled with shit we don't like. Sometimes people don't deal with that shit the way you would like them to. Push past that, and be there for them anyways. They need you, even if they can't say it.

Superpoints Review!

Ahh money! I love money! Don't you? Especially free money or that which I don't have to work hard for. With all the scams out there you can never be too sure what ones are actually legitimate. So I was pretty excited when I found out about Superpoints! A friend of mine invited me to try it out. She explained what it was all about but, of course, I was skeptical as always. But what did I have to lose? So I joined up. And it really is pretty great! I've cashed out $30 just in my first month. It is completely FREE to join and you can cancel at anytime.

So, below I'm going to answer some frequent questions that I've gotten from friends. If you have any others please comment below.

What is Superpoints?

It's a network of sites that allows you to win and earn points that can be redeemed for gift cards and merchandise. Superpoints is by invite only. So if you would like to join and give it a shot, you are welcome to use this link:

http://superpoints.com/refer/runrup

Am I eligible?

You must be a minimum of 18 years of age to join. Only one account per household is allowed. As far as I can see, Superpoints is only available in US, Canada and UK.

How does it work?

Once you join the site and respond to the registration email, you will need to fill out your profile. You can start earning points immediately by filling out easy surveys, watching videos, playing games and completing offers. You can win points from daily emails and clicking the Superlucky button each day. It's really that simple.

What's the catch?

There is no catch. You get what you earn. However, to get the most out of Superpoints, you need to invite friends to join. Every member is given a special referral link. You can copy and paste this link pretty well anywhere...Facebook, Twitter, Google+, for example. You can also email the link to your friends. When these friends join and do surveys or win on the Superlucky button, you win too. So that's points that you didn't even have to work for!

If you sign up two friends that puts you in Gold member status. Joining five friends puts you in Platinum status.

We already spend a ton of time online as it is, and networking sites like Facebook have allowed us to meet so many people! Why not put that to use. Invite those friends to join, it's a win-win situation for everyone.

Is this a get rich quick scheme?

Definitely not! You will not get rich using this website. But you will make extra pocket money to use for anything you want. You can have it deposited directly into your PayPal account or purchase Amazon gift cards. If you are patient, you can let them accumulate and redeem them for other great rewards. You can spend as little or as much time on the site as you wish. Personally I haven't spent more than 10 minutes a day there.

Is Superpoints legit?

Absolutely. It is completely FREE to join and you can cancel your account at anytime. I have already redeemed my points so far and have the $30 sitting in my PayPal account to prove it. I have friends that joined Superpoints and they, too, have redeemed points for cash and prizes.

How much is a point worth?

Every point is equivalent to 1 cent. So 500 points can be redeemed for $5 gift cards, for example.

So what kind of rewards do they offer? 

I uploaded some screenshots so you can see for yourself.

Please note:

Your account may be cancelled or disabled if you are inactive for 30 days or more. Also your points may expire if you do not use them in a 24 month period.

As like any other website, be careful what you download. All offers are from outside sources/sponsors of the website. Some may contain viruses or spyware. So make sure to have up to date anti-virus software installed. The safest offers to complete are the surveys. In saying that, the only issues I've had are with the game websites. I don't recommend many of those downloads or installs.

And that's it. If I've forgotten anything I'll add it when I remember :) If you have any questions or anything to add to this blog entry, feel free to comment here. Remember, Superpoints is by invite only so if you would like to join up, here's an invitation link:

http://superpoints.com/refer/runrup

I will ask in advance if you are a member of Superpoints, that you do not post your referral links in my comments section :)

~As always, comment and subscribe!

Sometimes I Do Some Pretty Stupid Things.

Well....I got my hair cut today. That is all. The end.

No seriously...I'm kidding. I mean about it being the end, not about the haircut. The haircut really happened.

Ever get an idea stuck in your head and you think it's such a great idea and you figure you had better do it now before you talk yourself out of it? Yeah, it was one of those days today. And I really should have talked myself out of it. Honestly.

It's like, you get a picture in your head of how great it's gonna look and then you get there with all these high hopes and expectations (first big mistake). And while you sit in the waiting area, you search the room for the best looking stylist. You want him/her to do your hair. The one with the flair, the beautifully styled and colored hair. Surely if they present themselves in such a way they will perform magic on yours. And then, as if it was meant to be, that's the stylist you get. You discuss your ideas, show her pictures and the stylist raves about how great it's gonna look. And you think well...she should know. She's the expert. She does this all day long. This is all she does, she's trained for this.

Wrong. But of course, this doesn't hit you until you get home. You're so excited about this new haircut, it's awesome! You have to take a picture cause everyone on Facebook is gonna love it just as much as you! And, well really, it's time for a new profile photo. Right?!

Snap! Oh...that's not a good shot.
Snap! Oh, that's just as bad. Try a different angle.
Snap! Ok...another angle?
Snap! Wow...does my hair actually look like that?
Snap! I need to try and...idk...fix this..?

So you go to the bathroom and examine every angle. Comb here, straighten there, backcomb that. What is going on? Then it hits you. The gut wrenching feeling you get when the truth finally sinks in.You stare into the mirror and realize it won't get better. You are stuck with this until it grows out You face up to the fact that you finally got the dreaded 'bad haircut' that every woman fears...and it's taken this long for you to realize it. And then you kick yourself for even getting out of bed this morning. Better suck it up and go buy a wig...or some hats.


This is what you THINK you walk out of the salon like

This is what you ACTUALLY look like

Why? Why? Why...did I do this? Anyone know any quick grow methods? :(

*sighs, shakes my head and walks out*

THE END.

Don't forget to RINSE!

You ever have one of those days? You know those 'put the milk in the cupboard and cereal in the fridge' kinda days? What the heck?! They just throw me off for the rest of the day. Seriously. But sometimes you just have to laugh at the ridiculous things you do, unknowingly.

Just came back from a long weekend trip. Unpacking seems to take much longer than packing for some reason. Then laundry is screaming at me cause I realize when I emptied my dirty clothes in the hamper that I was down to my last pair of, well, everything. And then I have to clean and tidy a bit cause things somehow seem chaotic if I don't. And then the cat...well, he has been without our company for a few days so he's following me around and tripping me up. Why is it cats have this dire need to zip through your legs and reach wherever you are going before you?! I swear he is trying to kill me or drive me insane...neither of which is a good plan! And whatever you do he likes to 'help'...which reminds me of something I read online a couple of weeks ago.

Guidelines For Cats


Anyways, back to my initial story... I tend to get sidetracked when my life is chaotic. It transfers the chaos to my mind and makes me vent (in this case blog) like a lunatic, as my friends know all too well!

After skipping a shower this morning...yea, I'm cool like that...I decided after unpacking I would indeed hop (carefully step into) the shower and refresh my weary mind and body before coyotes started tracking my scent. This is where things went awry, you see. My routine is very uncomplicated...shampoo, condition, wash face and body, shave only when necessary. Done. Though thinking on that, if I shaved my head it would save a lot of time...

Sooo...I shampooed my hair and rinsed it. Then I tried to squirt the face cleanser out and it was clogged and squirted sideways at the wall. So after washing off the wall and holding the bottle under hot water for a minute I finally got some! Straight shot! Then I put it in my hair. Yup! All that effort and I put it in my hair.

Rinse.

So I finally put the cleanser on my face. Then I got it in my eye. Great! That stung like salt in a wound! Well, probably. I've never had salt in a wound but I hear it stings something awful.

Rinse.

So with one eye full of cleanser and the other fighting the water dripping from my hair I reached for the hair conditioner. It squirted right into my hand, awesome! Except it started to lather in my hair and I realized I was shampooing my hair again. Dammit!

Rinse.

Then I grabbed my towel to wipe my eyes and nearly lost it in the water. Save! Except then the razor fell off the shelf and onto my toe. Eek! Look carefully...phew! No cut. Save! You have to understand my fear of cutting extremities (or rather, my fear of the cure to these cuts) like toes, fingers or ankles...have you ever used a styptic pencil? If you have, case in point. If not, well...Google it. This is a blog not a dictionary. No I'm kidding. Seriously. It looks like this.

You wet it under water and rub it on your cut and the bleeding stops instantaneously. Magic right? No. It stings like hell and I'd rather eat bugs! Well, not really bugs...but you get the idea.

I picked up the conditioner bottle, examined it to make sure it was the correct bottle. These bath products have fooled me for the last time. I then proceeded to apply it and rinse; happily rinse, cause it just took me 20 minutes to successfully wash my hair. I was so happy. I got out of the shower before anything else could happen, dried off, wrapped my towel around my head like a sexy turban. Ran for the eyedrops, as my vision is still impaired by the deathly cleanser, while trying not to trip over the cat. He has started waiting outside the shower now and when he gets impatient or curious he likes to look in through the curtain (peeping Tom...? Ya know cause he's a male and....meh, never mind). That's when I realized I hadn't even washed the rest of me. No soap, no body wash...nothin. But hey! I figured I used enough shampoo, facial cleanser and conditioner for a small army. That should have cleaned at least my feet as it washed away! :D

Blogger app AND Christmas Overkill!

Hey guys! Just trying out this new blogger app...well it's probably not new, but new to me. Lol
Hope you're all having a great Humpday!!


Question...do you use this app? Do you find it useful?

Christmas Overkill!

So I spent last weekend at my Dad's. It was his 74th birthday party and so I figured I would get two birds with one stone and decorate his house for Christmas at the same time.

Every year it's the same thing; put up the tree, village, nativity, lights...yet every year when I begin unpacking it all, I'm always overwhelmed by the amount of Christmas decorations my Mom has collected throughout the years. She always loved Christmas, it was her thing. Everything she has ever received from her four children, she has written our name on the box and, sometimes, the year it was received. I remember as a child, I would sit on the couch and watch her tirelessly decorating the tree. Once she was done, it was our job as the spectators to stand back and point out any places on the tree that needed more or less of something....lights, ornaments, etc. We were not to actually 'decorate the tree' but rather, be the extra set of eyes. lol I always thought this was peculiar. But now I understand, and I have adopted the same peculiar Christmas decorating habits. And my boyfriend loves to point that out to me. Haha!

So since my Mom passed, nearly 3 years ago, Dad has appointed the 'daughters' as the Christmas decorating lackeys. So my sister and I have reluctantly taken on that responsibility each Christmas since. This year, due to circumstances, it was actually the boyfriend and I that got wrangled into it. Again, like every year, I sat in the middle of the living room and nearly got swallowed up by 'Christmas Overkill'. Needless to say, I've slowly (and secretly) been putting things back into the Rubbermaid containers as I unpack. There's only so many ways to 'stylishly decorate' for Christmas with a room full of Snoring Santas, singing plush animals and angels by the dozens. I truly believe, sometimes less is more. My mother, however, may disagree.

Dad and my handy boyfriend got to work on the village, while I set up shop in the tree decorating department. This is where my 'learned peculiar behavior' comes out in droves. I, finally, finish the tree after tirelessly hooking and twisting and hanging one billion things on this poor tree's limbs...then ask the boyfriend to point out the places that need more or less of something. :P I really, truly do understand the need for a second set of eyes at this point. After going around, and around, and around, and around the tree with lights, beads and ornaments...you kinda feel like it all looks the same, at least for the next hour until the wine kicks in. ;)

Of course this is only one room, the Christmas Overkill theme follows through to the entire house. But I think Mom would be in her glee that we continue to take such pride in the upkeep of her tree and village traditions. :)

After that weekend I went home to start on my own place!

So....what Christmas traditions do you have at your house?


Sidenote:
Please visit my other blog, Secondhand Class to see my craftier side. :)

And be sure to comment and subscribe while you're there! :)

Woe is Me!

It's Christmas...already? Well, not yet, but nearly! Wasn't it JUST Christmas...like, the other day? Ugh!
Ok...don't get me wrong! I like Christmas as much as the next (sane) person but there's so much pressure to find the right gift for everyone. And yes I am aware that I am indeed solely putting all that pressure upon myself. No one is expecting greatness or some huge extravagant thing under the tree. However, if I am buying presents I want it to be something useful, wanted, needed, etc. by that person. There's nothing worse than the look of dread on another person's face when they've opened your gift. The look that says to you 'What was she thinking? SMILE and say thank you, like you mean it, I can always pawn it off on someone else later.'

What?? Haven't you done that?? No, me neither! Never! Honest...

Oh...or when someone else already gave them the same gift, which they've already opened before yours. I mean...yes, two baskets of bath products are great and it will probably last them until next Christmas, but is that really what we want? Uniqueness and originality is what we are all striving for. Aren't we? I want you to LOVE my present!! When someone asks 'Was Santa good to you?", one of the first things you think of is the present I gave you cause you love it so much!! :D

Alas, there are less than two months left before that big day arrives. I have started my shopping, I bought two presents so far. But it seems I have the equivalent to writers' block, but for shoppers...shoppers' block? Erm, no. Anyways, whatever it is, I have it. And I know in my heart that what I should be doing is making my presents, since I claim I'm all crafty and shit (pardon my, erm... well, it's not french). Thing is, between you and I, I'm a closet crafter. I have all the supplies in the world and I only craft by myself, for myself. I'm really not confident enough to get out there and show my stuff to the world, craft speak, not my STUFF stuff. :P

But a friend just asked me to make her some Christmas cards....oh my! And as I hate to disappoint, I said yes. I went out and bought what I needed. Now I just have to get started. I've wanted to start an Etsy store for such a long time but can't get the confidence or motivation to do it. Blah!

Anywho, that's my dilemmas lately! Closet craftiness and Christmas woes. lol

 'Just me being silly' :)

So, how do YOU choose the perfect gift?

As always comment and subscribe! :)

And Life Goes Back to Normal...Sort of!

I've been absent for too long here and I've missed it. However, I have a perfectly good reason...err, reasons. But you don't want to hear them....do you? Nah! Long story short... packing, moving, unpacking, working, blah blah blah!

Hey! Question! Is the recession still happening in Canada? Cause I'm gonna tell you, the job scene isn't pretty. There are lots of minimum wage jobs available, as always. But I didn't spend the last 15 years of my life going to college, paying back student loans and busting my ass getting credible work experience and excellent references...just to get a job flipping burgers (no offense)! Touchy subject? ...Perhaps a little.

Anywho...I'm back! So I need to get crafty to keep my idle hands busy...and my mind sane. And thanks to those lovely people that donate their craft supplies to the thrift stores I've got lots of new things to keep me busy.

But for every good misfortune there's always something to counter it. :(

Apparently, I lost a few things in my move. Yes I know, everyone loses/breaks/misplaces things during a move. Right? Well, not me! I'm way too organized for that to happen. I make a list of every box, listing all the contents inside. This is what I always do, every time I move...and I've moved plenty. Well I did the same thing this time but for whatever reason, it didn't go the way I'd expected. First, I lost the list but I'm a trooper and carried on unpacking (after I tore everything apart looking for the list). First I unpacked all the clothes, bedding, linen...then it was the kitchen and bathroom, of course. Everything else could wait (cause I'm an organized control freak and still looking for my list). When we put the furniture together, we realized we were missing 2 couch legs. How exactly does one lose couch legs?? My friends tell me that could only happen to me...c'est la vie. I managed to find identical ones at the thrift store....unusual thing to see but made my day!

Also missing...kitchen knife file (no wait, that resurfaced), brackets/screws for my curtain rod, all the hardware to hang my full length mirror (the handy boyfriend took care of that one on his own) and the hardware required to put my 70s phone table back together (blah! still looking for those, even though everything is unpacked and I'm sure they will never turn up).

Oh and did I mention I found my list? Yup! I found it one night when I was getting ready for bed, after the entire apartment had been unpacked and everything had found a home. It was right where it was supposed to be, exactly where I looked and couldn't find it. Am I a little sore about it? No! ...Maybe :)

So what have you lost in your move(s)?