Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Sometimes I Do Some Pretty Stupid Things.

Well....I got my hair cut today. That is all. The end.

No seriously...I'm kidding. I mean about it being the end, not about the haircut. The haircut really happened.

Ever get an idea stuck in your head and you think it's such a great idea and you figure you had better do it now before you talk yourself out of it? Yeah, it was one of those days today. And I really should have talked myself out of it. Honestly.

It's like, you get a picture in your head of how great it's gonna look and then you get there with all these high hopes and expectations (first big mistake). And while you sit in the waiting area, you search the room for the best looking stylist. You want him/her to do your hair. The one with the flair, the beautifully styled and colored hair. Surely if they present themselves in such a way they will perform magic on yours. And then, as if it was meant to be, that's the stylist you get. You discuss your ideas, show her pictures and the stylist raves about how great it's gonna look. And you think well...she should know. She's the expert. She does this all day long. This is all she does, she's trained for this.

Wrong. But of course, this doesn't hit you until you get home. You're so excited about this new haircut, it's awesome! You have to take a picture cause everyone on Facebook is gonna love it just as much as you! And, well really, it's time for a new profile photo. Right?!

Snap! Oh...that's not a good shot.
Snap! Oh, that's just as bad. Try a different angle.
Snap! Ok...another angle?
Snap! Wow...does my hair actually look like that?
Snap! I need to try and...idk...fix this..?

So you go to the bathroom and examine every angle. Comb here, straighten there, backcomb that. What is going on? Then it hits you. The gut wrenching feeling you get when the truth finally sinks in.You stare into the mirror and realize it won't get better. You are stuck with this until it grows out You face up to the fact that you finally got the dreaded 'bad haircut' that every woman fears...and it's taken this long for you to realize it. And then you kick yourself for even getting out of bed this morning. Better suck it up and go buy a wig...or some hats.

This is what you THINK you walk out of the salon like

This is what you ACTUALLY look like

Why? Why? Why...did I do this? Anyone know any quick grow methods? :(

*sighs, shakes my head and walks out*


Sunday, February 19, 2012

Don't forget to RINSE!

You ever have one of those days? You know those 'put the milk in the cupboard and cereal in the fridge' kinda days? What the heck?! They just throw me off for the rest of the day. Seriously. But sometimes you just have to laugh at the ridiculous things you do, unknowingly.

Just came back from a long weekend trip. Unpacking seems to take much longer than packing for some reason. Then laundry is screaming at me cause I realize when I emptied my dirty clothes in the hamper that I was down to my last pair of, well, everything. And then I have to clean and tidy a bit cause things somehow seem chaotic if I don't. And then the cat...well, he has been without our company for a few days so he's following me around and tripping me up. Why is it cats have this dire need to zip through your legs and reach wherever you are going before you?! I swear he is trying to kill me or drive me insane...neither of which is a good plan! And whatever you do he likes to 'help'...which reminds me of something I read online a couple of weeks ago.

Guidelines For Cats

Anyways, back to my initial story... I tend to get sidetracked when my life is chaotic. It transfers the chaos to my mind and makes me vent (in this case blog) like a lunatic, as my friends know all too well!

After skipping a shower this morning...yea, I'm cool like that...I decided after unpacking I would indeed hop (carefully step into) the shower and refresh my weary mind and body before coyotes started tracking my scent. This is where things went awry, you see. My routine is very uncomplicated...shampoo, condition, wash face and body, shave only when necessary. Done. Though thinking on that, if I shaved my head it would save a lot of time...

Sooo...I shampooed my hair and rinsed it. Then I tried to squirt the face cleanser out and it was clogged and squirted sideways at the wall. So after washing off the wall and holding the bottle under hot water for a minute I finally got some! Straight shot! Then I put it in my hair. Yup! All that effort and I put it in my hair.


So I finally put the cleanser on my face. Then I got it in my eye. Great! That stung like salt in a wound! Well, probably. I've never had salt in a wound but I hear it stings something awful.


So with one eye full of cleanser and the other fighting the water dripping from my hair I reached for the hair conditioner. It squirted right into my hand, awesome! Except it started to lather in my hair and I realized I was shampooing my hair again. Dammit!


Then I grabbed my towel to wipe my eyes and nearly lost it in the water. Save! Except then the razor fell off the shelf and onto my toe. Eek! Look carefully...phew! No cut. Save! You have to understand my fear of cutting extremities (or rather, my fear of the cure to these cuts) like toes, fingers or ankles...have you ever used a styptic pencil? If you have, case in point. If not, well...Google it. This is a blog not a dictionary. No I'm kidding. Seriously. It looks like this.

You wet it under water and rub it on your cut and the bleeding stops instantaneously. Magic right? No. It stings like hell and I'd rather eat bugs! Well, not really bugs...but you get the idea.

I picked up the conditioner bottle, examined it to make sure it was the correct bottle. These bath products have fooled me for the last time. I then proceeded to apply it and rinse; happily rinse, cause it just took me 20 minutes to successfully wash my hair. I was so happy. I got out of the shower before anything else could happen, dried off, wrapped my towel around my head like a sexy turban. Ran for the eyedrops, as my vision is still impaired by the deathly cleanser, while trying not to trip over the cat. He has started waiting outside the shower now and when he gets impatient or curious he likes to look in through the curtain (peeping Tom...? Ya know cause he's a male and....meh, never mind). That's when I realized I hadn't even washed the rest of me. No soap, no body wash...nothin. But hey! I figured I used enough shampoo, facial cleanser and conditioner for a small army. That should have cleaned at least my feet as it washed away! :D